you are my questions
pounding in my skull
threatening to break through
and wreak havoc on us.
you are my questions
hurting my head
chasing my thoughts
and keeping me awake at night.
wait and wait and wait and see
and you will see in time
more clearly in the light of a new day
in the care of his eyes
in the truth of his heart
when the dizziness subsides
and you find who you are
when the fire is gone
with his voice in your ears
and his face nearby,
with faith in the reason why...
when the triviality departs
and you find who you are
when the fire is gone,
you will see.

silent.
and I am alone
thinking again
thinking too much.
scared.
and I cannot fight it
the unknown
and the void has only grown
when I'm on my own.
I am invisible
with a solo, silent cry
for mercy and for love
and for the things I do not understand
about you.
the barriers disintegrate, blowing away
and I cannot pick up the pieces,
put them back together to form
my ever-precious mold.
a mold I can relax into.
scared, yes. scared of losing who I am
for what you will make me.
petty fear, I say.
legitimate fear, I say.
and the battle burns on.

I can't be satisfied in this.
and want to make it
different
and better but
not alone, not by myself.

I don't
know when to
stop trying
with you.
when to stop
trying for you.

and what is it I'm really feeling?
what am I truly doing?
how? am I really searching?
nothing is coming clearly.

how much to tell you
how often to let you know
I miss the laughter
and the tears and
the hurt and the
care and the fun...

but maybe it's just not our time.