ohmygoshohmygosh.

Packing--the actual putting of things into suitcases and the obvious emptiness in my house-- is really cementing the fact that I AM MOVING TO GERMANY IN FOUR DAYS.


I am so excited. My heart is pounding inexorably. Sometimes my hands start shaking.


...maybe that's just the drugs I'm on for my mouth. ;)

but MAYBE NOT.

joy.

Last night I had a sudden burst of joy. It came when I spent time with some very dear family friends, just goofing off and having fun and having deep conversations, and then I came home and my favorite band came onto my playlist, and I realized for the billionth time that my family is incredible, and that everything is going to be okay. God is always providing in ways that I need, and I hope that in coming months I can start being more faithful to Him, as He is so faithful to me! It's the only way. I have that peace in my heart that passes all understanding. I want to be a part of peoples lives and a good example of God's love, and have people in my life who are that for me. I don't ever want to forget.

unrequited.

I'm realizing that sometimes I can care more about someone than he or she cares about me. I invest a lot of myself in people, and then get hurt when it's not reciprocated at the level I'd like or thought we had. Unrequited friendships, if you will. They stink.

It's really disappointing with one friendship, someone I've really been there for over the years, and I feel like there must have been SOMETHING I did wrong, to have him just drop me/ignore me/whatever it is...especially seeing as I'm not being overbearing or over the top in trying to be a part of his life. I can honestly say that.

I understand sometimes that friendships just simply fade~ people grow apart, or something just causes one person to float one way and the other person another. But to be great friends one week and the next week have short conversations only, or one sided efforts....hhhhhhh. I just don't understand it! There's not much I can do either.

8 days!! I'm groaning because of all the moneys that go into everything I'm doing right now...ACH. Textbooks are such a hassle!!! But Christine and I got them ordered and shipped to my new house in Germany! We also got everything set for Blaze's flight, which will be separate from mine.

Wisdom teeth Thursday!