Do you think God changes up our plans- rocks our foundation, takes away everything we thought could be- just to prove that we're not in control, and never were? I'm losing this vision of what I thought might come to pass. I'm wondering why I am where I am. I'm wondering if I've failed in some way, to see the things I wanted here and now and in the near future, disappear. Is God just saying, wait for it?
Or, "That just shook you up so much that I'm the only one who can pick you back up again."
I wish I had some sort of clear vision. Anything at all. I feel like I've been set adrift, even though I know in my heart I'm still being held by Him.
Maybe he's saying, "Make Me your vision and everything else will fall into place."
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art...
You've never failed me before, why do I feel betrayed?
Is this all discipline? I welcome the thought that I might be a better person on the other side...but so much fire? So much uncertainty? Another break...I get it. We need to be broken over and over and over and over and over again to be built up again, new.
Two things you told me, you are strong and you love me.
ciera! hey baby cakes. i was in my night class so i missed your call =\ but you can call me tomorrow! we're going to make it through, we have each other + Jesus. we're set =]
ReplyDeletei read this in Jesus Calling + it has helped me soososo much:
As you look before you, you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all directions. You wonder how you can possibly find your way through that maze. Then you remember the One who is with you always, holding you by your right hand. You recall My promise to guide you with My counsel, and you begin to relax. As you look again at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring your view. You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My Presence. The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment. Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now. Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you.